My Hand Is Bleeding — Stand-up

 by By VenderGreentag

You ever wake up and think,
“Damn… my hand’s bleeding.”
And you're not even surprised.
Not like, “Oh no! What happened?!”
More like,
“Yeah, that tracks.”

It’s 9 a.m., I’m late for life, the coffee tastes like regret,
and my hand’s bleeding like it’s trying to escape the body it’s trapped in.

No dramatic fight, no accident.
Just... bleeding.
Like my body finally joined in and said,
“Yo, I’m done too.”

People ask,
“Why’s your hand bleeding?”
Bro... that’s the least of my problems.
My soul’s leaking out since 2017.
This is just the surface update.

And you know what's funny?
You show up at work with your hand bleeding and people go,
— “Umm… could you cover that up? It’s making the clients uncomfortable.”
Oh, sorry Brenda. Didn’t realize my open wound was ruining your productivity metrics.
Let me just slap a smiley-face bandage on my existential crisis.

It’s always like that.

Your hand’s bleeding? Suck it up.
Your heart’s broken? Get back to your emails.
You’re mentally melting like expired cheese? Here's a yoga app and a discount code.

And at this point, I don’t even need a doctor.
I need a technician.
Like, “Hey, bro, can you reboot me? Maybe reinstall purpose.exe?”

So yeah…

My hand is bleeding.
But it’s the most honest thing about me right now.